Thursday, May 29, 2008

The new woomie o!

So, somebody (special, btw) accused my blog of being colorless. I had little or no idea that i could even change the template lol.

I didn't like the old one that much either...i laaaahhvvvvvvvvvvvvvv the color green.

Anyways, it's still the same old me.

You and YOU (and you too) take note.

PS: This Democracy Day is kinda pointless.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Congrats BG!!!!! Yoou made it!!! Hallalujah!

My bestest, nearest and dearest friend just graduated from college wit
h a 4.0!!!


I'm really proud of i promised to share the great news in my own little world.

Ezi worked hard for this, I'm a witness.

I'm a witness of the great great great person she is.

I'm grateful to God for crossing our paths...and then marking the spot where they crossed with this wonderful friendship.

Ezi's the kinda daughter i'd love to raise (maybe much more smarter(lol) and more laid back about stuff than her)-very selfless and caring...and genuine.

I spent three years in high school with Ezi. Those were the three happiest years of my life so far. When t'was almost graduation time for us, she planned, gathered funds and threw me a surprise birthday party. She made sure everyone that mattered was present:friends, foes, and mere acquaintances from far and near. We had fun that day, she brought us all together again, one last last time that really mattered. Hard as i try, I'll never be able to forget that day.
Its' still the happiest, most perfect day of my life.

When she's around, everything seems o.k. She's a good, but sometimes she gives up and I'm there for her.

Now, she's so far away and most things are kinda dysfunctional. I miss her. She keeps in touch like crazy but i miss the fun that woulda been if she were here...or i was there...if we were just together.

Like most of the few friends I have, she's a devout Roman Catholic. I can tell she fears God.

If three of my six daughters (in future) turn out like her...and the remaining three turn out better (that'll mean they'll be as angelic as possible) then i'd be the happiest mother in the world (as long as the two boys don't become more than one handful each)

She wants to major in Psychology and everone's trying to discourage her (except me, I plan to study Paediatric Psychology as soon as I finish dealing with Accounting - My Father's Love)

I hope she makes the right choice (the only one that makes her happy). She's good at what she does so that shouldn't be a problem.

I'm glad about the way she has rubbed off on me (and I hope she can say the same about me). I have been unable to make a friend (girlfriend) as special and as perfect. ( I try hard with Keenat sha, LMAO, she's nice tooo, before she sees this LOL)

OK! enough of BG! before her heAd goes on and bursts.
(Anyways, i have refused to tell my my blog address so she's safe.)

Thank God for her...Just like me, she's cut out for great things. May our future be blindingly fluorescent...Amen.

Monday, May 26, 2008

No more Yahoozee jare!

I heard about this song by Harry Best from (who seems like my only blogger friend, lol!) Laspapi's blog.

I completely got hoooked on the real yahoozee song by Olu...nice beats, very danceable and all...but many people don't really understand what Olu is really trying to maintain here.

It took me a while to find out what the slang yahoozee means...BUT over and over Olu has maintained that the literal meaning of the term wasn't/isn't the message he was/is passing across with his music...well, good for him BUT's too late.

I remember when i really understood what 'yahoo/yahoozee meant'.

That night I was discussing with Rex about making good money with his Linkserve connection instead of facebook-ing and myspace-ing all the time. I'd actually meant 'yahoo-money'.

(my friend, DL had recently gotten a car gift from her cool boyfriend who she said was/is a yahoo-boy, car's mad fine. So i's trying to encourage one or two of my generous boyfriends to do this yahoo thing so I can stop Danfo-ing around lagos)

Anyways, Rex sat me down and askd, 'do you even know what 'yahoo' is sef? and i'm like,'not exactly, but i know it involves spending a lot of time online and making money after weeks or months depending on how smart you are. I also know that it is sometimes illegal'. So he gives me that is-this-woomie-for-real-look? that means he's pissed/disgusted/amused at once and he says, 'it is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS illegal! that's why they call it yahoo dum-dum'

So he went ahead to explain the kinds of bussinesses that yahoo boys get involved in, like the fake bank and traveller's cheques, online dating and mating and the likes. I'm like, how come you know all these things? Have you tried it? Rex is a great guy, i was just trying to get on his nerves anyways so he says, 'I can't try stuff like that. It's illegal, sinful (Rex is a devout Roman Catholic) and far too risky etc. etc. and besides, i'm smart (rubbing it in), if I put all that brain-work into something really legal, we can enjoy the money without bothering about EFCC and ICPC trailing us.

I's really proud of him.

And then i began to see my friends who spent too much time online in a new light.

Sometimes I'd wonder how anyone of them jobless boys came about their sudden affluence and look at them with cynicism.

There's actually great excuses for these boys and why they do what they do (i always say 'sometimes, there's a reasonable reason people behave unreasonably).

Considering the surfiet Nigeria is suffering from and how wealth has suddenly begun to flow in from different can't blame a few ignorant yahoo-people who have refused to stand still in their poverty.
Most of them are however more greedy than hopeless but nobody made me the judge. As long as I can keep my head and help others who want to stay around me do the same then all is well.

The ing-thing is 'hammering' and buying cars but i will always insist that there are sooooooooooooooooo so many things that you can do besides scamming people. Afterall, (in Lord of Ajasa's words) Ali-baba ma make e, nse l'on se yeye. As long as you find out what you're legally cut of for, then you're good to go.

But what's my sotto-voce tiny piece of advice admist this yahoozee/hammer/hummer craze???

(BTW, why should the first thing i buy with my 'hammer-money' be a hummer??? dum dum.)

Nigerians, let's keep on making good music, but watch it with the lyrics!

Thank you jare Harry for 'no more yahoozee'.

Like the photo says, the decision is urs.

FIND OUT WHAT YOUR P IS! it's definitely not yahoozee.

Saturday, May 24, 2008


I still don’t understand how we’ve managed to grow this far apart. I know it is I who moved and not you. I’m trying to retrace my steps, but it’s so hard, I need you to help me.

Life was so much fun when I was around you. When we were best friends. There wasn’t a thing I couldn’t share. How I loved you! And you me!

Then things started to happen, and I stopped believing in the miracle of our friendship. Gradually, I began to be convinced that I really didn’t need to show much I need you, that you’d always be there.

Now I know I was wrong. I took you for granted. I took your love for granted. I am so sorry.

I have realized that the major reason why I want you back is because I need you, it’s selfish, I know, and I am truly ashamed of myself. You do not need me as much as I need you. I shouldn’t really matter that much to you but day by day, you show me - in many ways - that you’re there for me. I know for a fact that you will keep your promise to never leave my alone…always and forever.

I’m really ashamed to ask any favor of you cos I remember a time when it wasn’t only you that gave. I remember a time when I made you happy, when I gave – and generously so.

I loved you. I loved you back with all of my heart and you were so good to me (not that you’ve stopped). That’s how it should have stayed.

But then, I began to share your love with others. I completely regret it. I have learned the hard way that people change; one day they like you, the next they don’t. Not everyone, in fact, no one can love me like you do, unconditionally, holding nothing back.

Once again, I want it all, all the loving kindness I stupidly threw away. I know you are so merciful, I guess that’s why I was so laid back about messing things up between us over and over again.

I have learnt so many things about you these past couple of years. I believe we can be together again. I know I’ll be able to maintain a wonderful friendship with you- just like old times.

I miss you so much. I whisper to you everyday, but I wonder if you can hear me. It’s only with your help that I can stay so close to you forever.

I love you God, let’s be together again…please.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Dance With My Father Again.

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence,
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me
And then spin me around till I fell asleep
And up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk
Another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never ever end
Cos I’d love love love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how mama cried for him
I’d pray for her even more than me

I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream.

-Luther Vandross

my father isn't dead (God forbid! not yet)...but he doesn't dance!

i like the song...alot.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Hottest in rag trade.

I got some priviledged information courtesy of my old friend T.K. This new clothing line is really it. I got a look at some of its T-Shirts and the stiches got me hooked. I love it...the little details...almost better than those original London Hackett shirts all the dudes scream for. And then there's the jackets...kinda Elstaff-ish.
Anyways, i hope they hit the market big time soon. Naija's on its way.
(there's also g-strings for the chics)
Prices are kinda right...
Quality's tight.

PS: i said it first.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

For the love of money!

I've got less than twenty-two days to find a job (or quit lookin) for the next three months. You never know how hard it can get till you try.
I'm disappointed, I'm angry but more importantly, I'm broke.

Anyways, for lack of better things to do, i found myself reading my old journal from about six years ago and i found this interesting joke.

One sunday service in church, the Pastor decided to explain the spiritual benefits of giving - and generously so. When it came to time to collect the offering, as a catalyst to enriching the church's pockets, the pastor jokingly said to the men, "if your wife is beautiful, let your offering be much", one man stood up and said, " my wife is as beautiful as the lillies so i give 1 million naira" , another stood up and said, 'i offer 500,000 naira to the church bcuz my wife is very beautiful', it went on and on till one man stood up and said, 'i'll give 5 naira', the pastor, shocked, asked why, the man replied, 'if you see my wife, you will give me change'

Saturday, May 3, 2008


So, i was tagged by laspapi (who, btw, has refused to follow all the rules sef *-:**) Anyways, i already saw it,so here goes.

1. Link the person who tagged you -
2. Mention the rules in your blog –
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours –
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them -
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

1. laspapi

2. did that already.

then 3. six unspectular quirks. (that's not fair! i have a lot)

1. i always like to go commando right after my time of the month (but! never with skirts) to make up for the discomfort of the previous days.

2. i never have appetite for ANYTHING until i have brushed my teeth.

3. I have a weakness for beautiful bags and purses. When i see a lady, it's her handbag i notice first.

4. my favourite thing to do is THINK, i think i think for a living.

5 i have a strong phobia for strange places (filled with strange people who kinda know each other) Often times, i don't like to stand out, i just like to fit in.

6. people do not know that i haven't actually seen them when i say, 'hi back at ya!' or wave 'hi's' and 'hello's'...i have astigmatism.

4. Can't tag nobody. I don't think i know a blogger who hasn't already done this. lol!

5. Sorry, can't follow rule 5.

Friday, May 2, 2008

I killed her...

I was going on 7 (or was i going on 8 at that time????, the memories get more and more hazy)
A few years earlier, we'd just moved to a more secure neigbhourhood. Everyone (i mean my sister and brother) liked their new schools, except me. The kids were mean, the lunch was terrible and the toilet was an eyesore. I was a smart kid, and they hated me even more.
I had no friends, i always thought it was because i hadn't gotten my school uniform yet so they didn't see me as one of them...yet. Not long after i started this new school, we had a 'newer'-comer in our class. I remember vividly how she looked on her first day, just like me, she had one of those aunty-give-me-cake gowns, church shoes and her hair was tied up in rubber thread.
'Class this is 'Anthonia', welcome her' then the bunch of mean kids mumbled something and she got the empty seat on my bench...misery loves company. I remember this day vividly, i don't care how many pranks my mind plays on me. I made a friend that day. She was born in July, just like me. We were the same size, same height, same complexion. We only had different faces. We'd sometimes lie that we were sisters. The kids at school weren't so mean anymore, and if they were, we didn't care.

It didn't take long for me to discover how incredibly smart Anthonia was. Together, we'd decide who we wanted to come first and second on the tests and exams. We never really competed for first and second positions in our class, my parents didn't mind when i came second and she came first (and neither did her's) , better her than someone else. I remember she didn't have a father. I remember telling her we could share mine, and we did.

We were funny kids, stars of the teaching-staff room. I remember there was a fish tank in that office. Every afternoon at lunch break, we'd go in there and feed the fish, it was a goldfish. We'd crack jokes everytime about how we wanted to taste the fish and all. Anthonia knew how to laugh. I remember her laughter, it was deep, shrill, intense, always with tears in her eyes. We had no worries, never threw tantrums. We had fun.

Everyday after school, we'd walk down a few blocks to my house where her mum usually picked her up after work. While we waited for four o'clock for NTA to come up, we'd play all sorts of games, I remember it was she who taught me how to skip, and she was my hero when it came to 'ten-ten', she always won when we played 'catcher' and whenever we got tired, we'd sit in the house and watch VOLTRON- defender of the universe or Power Rangers till her mother came, sometimes, she'd sleep over.

I remember we loved to drink garri. We did it everyday, with groundnut. They called us Woomie-Epa and Toni-Epa.

Joker-Jellies were in vouge. My mother got us each a pair, one blue pair and one pink pair. (We pioneered that foot wear in my neighbourhood.) It was hard for us to choose, they were both beautiful. I took the blue anyways but when we ran errands, we'd exchange right legs so we'd each have a blue leg and a pink leg. It pissed my mother off all the time, but we'd still do it when she wasn't looking.

It was the end of the school year and her mother told me they were moving again. I had no idea what it meant at that time so i remember NOT remembering.

We'd tied at first position that term. I remember we weren't too excited, we'd already gotten used to it. I remember the walk home that friday afternoon, the Jumat service going on in the mosque about two blocks away. We always stopped for a while to watch them bow and chant, this day was no different, i recall. There were always arabs and other 'onyibos' there on fridays, Anthonia and i liked to stare at them.

We got home that afternoon and decided on a game of 'catcher'. I was a lazy child, i always turned the game of 'catcher' into another game of 'hide-and-seek' whenever it was my turn to be chased, I remember that was why she'd never let me catch her. I got tired of chasing and i wanted garri and groundnut as usual. We walked towards the gate together, i remember the shop where the groundnut was sold, right opposite my house. I remember shoving her that day, and'i've caught you!', 'i've caught you', 'go and buy the groundnut and come and catch me back'. Mad at my sudden victory, she raced towards the shop, backing the road and screaming at me. I remember that road, it wasn't a busy one.
As i closed my eyes and stood there thinking of which 'hole' to go and hide this time,i heard the tires sreeching (i still hear them now). I opened my eyes and stood there paralysed, i couldn't see Anthonia, people had gathered around the front of uncle Jimi's car, i keep thinking that if there had been less people there that day, i'd still have Anthonia. I heard the shouts and screams of the women (i still hear them now), still i couldn't move. I remember Uncle Jimi lifting her to the car, then i saw her face, she looked strange, there were tears in hey eyes, almost as if she was laughing. I knew it took the last bit of strength in her, but Anthonia kicked off my blue foot of Joker-Jelly, like she knew i'd get in trouble for it. Still, i couldn't move, i didn't care about it or any other thing at that moment. I just stood there, still, minutes after the Uncle Jimi drove off.
I remember it was my Aunt who came and picked me up from the gate. I remember i didn't talk for days. I remember not drinking garri or eating groundnut for a while.
I remember nobody talked about Anthonia ever again. I know they all think i can't remember. But i see that day everyday. I see her everyday. And sometimes, i talk to her, i know it's only me in the dialouge, but still, it feels good.
I have NEVER opened my mouth to talk about Anthonia to my mum or anyone (maybe i never will), I always write about it and then tear up the paper. I can't tear this up, I know she deserves to be remembered.
I don't know if she survived, if they moved or if i'll ever see her again. A part of me tells me I am me today because she happened to me ( i never would have mastered my 13-15 times table if it wasn't for her)
I never played 'catcher' or 'hide-and-seek' ever ever again. I hate those games.
I love my friend Anthonia, she's like my super-ego now,
I love the memory of her,
her laughter,
her tears,
and the Joker-jellies.