Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Count your blessings...see?! They're a lot.


So I've been sitting at home, depressed, complaining about having no money and all...stupid me!
This morning, I woke up and the first thing on my mind was 'Gosh! I'm dead broke!'
I completely hate being broke...maybe not hate...I fear being broke. I was busy counting my twenty twenty naira here and there, searching my dirty clothes for fifty naira here, hundred naira there. You see, I've been saving this 4k in my bag for like a week cuz my cream is finishing...
I just thought of diping my hand in the money to buy art supplies when my dad started screaming my name up and down the house. 'Oooohhhh God! What naow??? This man should leave me alone jare', Maybe God can touch his heart to raise me o!, so I literarily fly to the sitting room and I give him my most charming Cinderella look ever, the man didn't even look face at all, 'look, today , you are going to cook gbure for me, and small buy elubo too. The food better be ready when I get back' ope o! at least I can gain like 1k if I pinch money for soup and amala.Lemme still try my luck sha. 'Ahem! Daddy, there's something I want to tell you' He gives me his Tony Montana look and is like, 'look Woomie I'm late for work, shey you can see the rain, when I come back', Chei!, 'Errm wait now daddy, it's about that thing I told you before ...', cuts in, 'I know, Cambridge Pronounciation Dictionary, I haven't forgotten o madam' *hiss*, 'No o, its...' cuts in again, turning the lock,' What? you don't want it again??? Wo, leave me jare lemme go', hesitate a second, 'I still want it, it's just that I'm, eem, I'm broke' then I turn to run away while he pretends to be shocked, he turns around to the calender, 'You're a joker! I don't owe you any money until, wait first, five...six...seven...eight...eem em em, look, I don't owe you any money until Saturday, now let me pass abeg abeg!' Eh God o! I reload my Cinderella look and as he dips his hand into his pocket and brings out two 1,000 naira notes, my antagonist sister appears out of the blue! shit! this girl is fond of this thing, I do all the hard work and she comes in at the last minute to share the money with me 50-50, I couldn't complain sha. 'Gee, thanks dad, don't forget the dictionary o!' I shout as he goes down the stairs, ' You're not serious.That's the money I just shared for you two o!' eeerrm, warreva! i know he's kidding.


Anyways, I'm about two or three thousand naira richer...then my cousin in FCT calls and he gives me the pin for a Presto (Bank PHB's local money transfer) worth 6k that he'd sent yesterday, is this my luck day or what???he he he.


So, I set my alarm to 12noon and log onto facebook...I tell you, I didn't stand up till I heard the alarm go off...the curse of Facebook.


I pick my wallet and my Bagco bag...off to the market!


I was busy doing my do, pricing snail here, fighting tooth and nail to get the deal of a lifetime with my Shaki and brokoto for 800, I can not fit to touch my gain o! Anyways, I finallydecided to bone cow leg and just buy Shaki, money no reach for all that kain thing, not if i still intend to gain my 1,500 gerege. I almost forgot to buy pepper sef! The pepper cost no be small o, after grinding 300 naira pepper, I couldn't even find it, anyways, I decided to complement it with Cayenne pepper and crayfish, I usually like to grind this mixture at the market, so I moved to the nearest stall to grind my thing then I notice the guy there looking a teeny weeny bit uneasy, of course!!! I recognise his face!!! This guy's in my department, here he is, grinding dry pepper in the market, now this guy is one brilliant chap, he looks at me to see if I'm a bit disgusted or pitiful or something and then tries to explain himself, 'Woomie, this is where I am o. You know, erm eerm, *scratching his head* (i'm like wtf! in my mind. guy, you don't owe me an explanation at all) all that money for handout and textbook and sorting, I get it from this my small grinding machine', 'Eeeiyaa', I reply o ma se o, eerrmm what was I supposed to say??? Desperately trying to change the subject I ask him one or two things about the current happenings in school, this is one guy I would normally not chat with in school, all we say is hello, good morning, can I please join your group for so so so and so course or something?, cuz he's a bit of a ruffian in school and I no want wahala for myself, so chatting with him was a tad bit weird. Eventually, we had this usual moment when one person heaves a sigh and the other responds with another sigh and then someone changes the subject with a stupid or irrelevant question, his was, 'Ah! did you come to the market???' no o ode, I'm just inspecting Governor Fashola's work in progress around Lagos' 'eem, yes, I just came to buy food stuff' I reply, faking a smile. 'So, do you want to grind pepper???' for a second I thought of lying and running the hell out of there, t'was getting really weird . 'yes, thank you', he grinds my pepper and tries to refuse my money, of course he hadn't seen what I was offering him, then he looks at my hand and he's like, 'Ah! I don't have that kind of change o', 'Don't be silly, you you think I'm offering you these two notes because you blended this tiny pepper for me? Take jare just to hold body and soul together, don't cause a scene here' he grabs the notes, grining from ear to ear, 'thank you o Woomie, thank you very much, Ah! God bless you! May God replenish your pockeks, May God she kini kan she kini kan...' so much for avoiding a scene 'Ok o eerrm eerm, shey your name is Emmanuel??', 'No, it's Emeka, thank you o! thank you!' o ga o, there goes my gain, and then some. But it did feel good to see the guy smile so hard, how can someone sit under that kinda sun and make roughly 16o naira everyday (on a good day, according to him) only to go to school and buy thousands of naira worth of unnecessary handouts and texbooks in order to avoid carry-overs??? What a life!

I just realised that, for me, being so broke ain't really that bad, I don't have to pay my bills or buy my own books all the time, I have my dad, cousins and aunties, and they're always touched by my fine-bara, you see, I always try to rotate it so that one single person doesn't feel like my own is too much. The trick really works. I'm blessed. And I will feel even more fufilled if and when I get a job in the next few weeks.


My water-leaf soup turned out soooo so well, I'm sucha great cook o guys! Not like I'm bragging or something, I'm just saying.






Shout out to Poeticallytinted, that's one blogger that really helped with my last post! You really rock!!! Thank you all (except NaughtyEyes, don't let me catch you o). All the advice has really really helped, I'm working on it. Be good and abound y'all.

7 comments:

aloted said...

hehe this post is so hilarious..lol

reminds me of wen i used to go gring pepper n beans for ogi at the elero's place...

poeticallytinted said...

LOL. I was jus ROFLOL-ing as i read this and to think my boss sits opposite me. Please consider yourself responsible for the loss of my job. I guess i need not worry, I can always swing by your place for some stupendous waterleaf soup, abi? :)
I am glad I was of help to you! and don't worry about Charizard, I know how to deal with such people, I have many friends in low places. lol. If you need anymore help you can email me. I have links on the inside of that place I told you to go.

LG said...

na wa o'
diff strokes for diff folks abi??? *sigh*
BTW i nor see any water leaf soup o, talk less of to taste am.... so how do i kno u r a maggi-maggi woman?
:-)

Naughty Eyes said...

You want to catch me? He he he!!! *singing MC Hammer* Tan tan tan tan, tan tan, tan ta! Can't touch this!
We might see soon and your wish might just come true. Minus the "Nandos" of course...

exschoolnerd said...

"ah did you come tp the market"..buahahahahaha.this post cracked me up..i hate it wen people ask very stupid questions...like when they see u and know u r just arriving 4rm somewhere "ah u have come back" nigerians do that a lot..hav u found a job yet..i am looking for a back scratcher....5 nairs per minute..u game?

Woomie O! said...

@PInclined: are you kidding??? I'm sending you an e-mail right now!!!

bumight said...

lmao @ "ah, did you come to the market?"
that was nice of you sha.

kinda reminds me of my shenanigans with trying to get money from popsie, now he doesnt ask too much questions!