I did this post a while ago and got not positive answers, so out of desperation, I'm doing it again...you blggers better not make mad fun of me this time around, it's really not funny anymore.
Why aren’t there any jobs in Lagos (Nigeria???) for jobless students like me? Or haven’t I searched all the right places?
There’s so much I can do without a degree! Hell! There isn’t much I can do with one.
Anyways, what I’m driving at is this: I NEED A JOB! Nigeria, is that too much to ask? I cannot stand the thought of doing absofrickinlutely NOTHING everyday in the next few weeks. Damn! If I’m going to spend it reading for one exam of or attending some silly lectures, I’ve had enough! I do that all year round, it doesn’t enrich my pockets in ANY way. Boy, I have needs that ‘I’ want to take care of (starting with my schlock wardrobe that I need to upgrade, a new p.c, my fast-becoming-archaic book collection AND of course my now empty pen collection, BDW, I collect pens, … I just want to take care of myself by myself)
So, if you’re reading this and shaking your head and saying, ‘there’s no hope for me, I simply can not get a job without a degree’ Shame On You! Who made that the Basic Standard? It is people like you that make living in Nigeria difficult. All I want is a good-interesting-professional-fun job that beats watching E-News and soap re-runs all day.
If you have one in mind, holler at me. Oh! Wait a minute! I have to draw up a C.V right? Now that’s some shit cuz it’ll be soooo scanty-looking. But then, I can tell y’all here:
My name’s Woomie, I’m from West Nigeria, I’m under 21 but not a minor, 4th year, Accounting, LASU SPTS. I passed the ICAN ATS 1 exam in the last September diet, not a big deal BUT! It implies that I have a fair knowledge of Basic Accounting Processes and Systems, Business Law and Economics AND I have excellent communications skills. I am an ORACLE Certified Associate (10g, with 11i Financials in view); still afraid to take my OCP certification. I can sell ideas and do PR stuff BUT I can’t go around selling products and services, sorry. But! there's not a lot that I can't do, really.
I speak three languages very well, they include:
1. Good English;
2. Bad English; and
3. Yoruba* and if it counts, I understand little kids too.
I’m a size 16, bespectacled and probably taller than you or YOU (just in case u’re wondering) if any or all of these bother you, then don’t offer me a job.
If you won’t employ me for my skills (or lack of it), then trust your instincts, just go ahead and employ me, I need professional work experience (preferably as a junoir DBA), I am fun to work with and I’ll make the job a whole lot easier AND you can have me in the next few weeks (hey! Pervs, I mean TO WORK WITH, get those silly ideas out of your mind)…and you better not be paying peanuts! Please, I hate to wear shoes!!!! Don't make me dress "corporate"-whatever that means.
Feel free to leave you comments about what kind of jobs you’re offering, TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY…thank y’all.