Thursday, October 30, 2008

Mr. Federal Government.

Mr Federal Government,

I know who you are, I see you everyday,

Everywhere I turn

there's a picture of you,

Everything I touch already has your mark on it.

Mr. Federal Government, I am not happy with you,

I bear a serious grudge against you,

I know it might not bother you,

I'm just one in a million,

but my one means alot.

Not a day goes by that you don't make me want to cry.

Mr. Federal Government, what did I ever do to you???

I stay up most nights thinking about you,

it's too hot to sleep,

What can i do to make you forgive me???

I need my sleep,

sometimes, a tiny tomato light is all I need,

to power my ceiling fan,

and have a good night rest,

but you hold onto the power,

you hold onto it like your life depends on it,

Mr Federal Government, you are so spiteful.

I ask myself over and over again,

'what did I ever do to you?'

When you needed my support,

I was there for you,

I helped you up the ladder,

how can you pay me back with such hatred???

Mr Federal Government, my school is literarily just a stone throw away,

but the road is really tiny,

every time I ride the bus

I run late,

every day the road gets smaller, it seems,

Mr. Federal Government, I HAVE to go to school,

so I risk my precious life everyday,

riding a bike, that feels like a lear,

I HAVE to go to school,

I HAVE to make all your wrongs right someday.

What did I ever do to you????

You don't care about my health,

I could as well be dead,

the other day I needed an appendectomy,

I ran to you for help,

but I couldn't find you,

then I ran to Lagoon,

Mr Federal Government, they made me wait,

they made me wait to fill out forms,

to arrange a payment plan,

I was in pain,

it was an emergency!

You weren't there for me,

You were in Germany,

doing your monthly check-ups

(do you have cancer?)

what would it cost you to insure my health?

You promised to care for me,

I haven't been bad,

what are you punishing me for???

Mr Federal Government,

what did I ever do to you???

it's getting harded to feed,

the prices are sky rocketing

and I am afraid,

We are all scared,

For our fried and jollof rice,

we now use garri,

of course you don't know how it tastes,

you are busy with your super, lower, semi and lesser hajj,

jet fuel abusing around the world.

I never had to worry about food

till you came around.

Everyone is complaining,

yet you're busy shuffling and re-arranging your cabinet,

Mr Federal Government, are we going to eat your ministers eventually?

I don't know what my baby sister would have done for school,

but thank God for Mr. State Government,

he is a better man than you.

Mr Federal Government, what CAN you do to make my life more comfortable?

I ask because, you haven't given me water,

you haven't given me food,

I have to work extra hard to clothe myself,

to buy feul that provides my own electricity,

I can't wait for you anymore,

on my own, I am trying,

I am trying to give my baby sister a decent life,

I am trying to make her happy,

I'm trying to make her a better person,

I don't ever want her to feel this hatred that I feel,

it's not a very good feeling.

I will continue to try,

I will try to be happy,

to spite you.

Mr Federal Government,

tell me, what did I ever do to you???

This thing between you and me,

it's personal.

I am not the 'Masses'

I am Woomie,

I helped you up,

with my sweat,

with my blood!

This thing between you and me,

it really is personal,

I am not a hateful person Mr. Federal Government,

but I won't sit back and watch you cheat me,

tell me what it is

that you seem to be punishing me for,

your seven-point agenda that I supported?

or your vision that I believe in?

It has been almost two years,

and look how you have paid me back!

You know what?

Mr Federal Government, I don't care anymore,

I think you're an ass.


AlooFar said...


Got me thinking.

Standtall said...

Mr. Federal GOVT, u r suppose to make pple happy not to make them hate u.

U have failed!

aloted said...

Mr local goverment should come and depend himself o...

sad sad sad..

guess we just have to focus on wat we can change and not wat we can't cuz Mr local govt might not be willing to change

FFF said...

yes oh. d FG is an ass. nothing else 2 add

Lady Koko said...


Buttercup said...

Wow babe, that was really good! If only he cud see this!

N.I.M.M.O said...


This must be straight from the heart. I was lost in your words and kept expecting you to go on to Mr. Local Government.

Question: Is Mr. State Government really doing that much well? Now, I know Fashola is trying but then is it ALL that? Maybe I'm just being Oliver Twist, at least its good our kids can go to school for free somewhere in this country .

I also find your suggestion of 'eating his Ministers later' quite instructive. Maybe if the Ministers know that the punishment for non-performance is a trip to Okija shrine, maybe they'd do better.

Maybe UMYAwn himself will do better.

Nice poem. You should publish.


What a great poem. It is sad, but overall, Nigerians cannot truly depend on the federal government always.

Take care.

Woomie O! said...

thank y'all for stopping by! sorry i couldn't publish your comments earlier, my computer crashed on me!*sniff* The curse of the motherboard.
I've missed out on too much.I miss y'

Jaguda said...

mr federal govt needs a kick up the backside for upsetting Woomie

rayo said...

sori abt ur computer crash, u cld find a way to pin it on fg sef if u want. i rili feel this poem woomie but no let yaddy catch u oh

Jinta said...


Woomie O! said...

Jintasco!!!! So you're still in this blogville??? Nice to hear from you!!!!

Naughty Eyes said...

It's official... you're now on the list of bloggers wanted by the SSS!
Ok, seriously, Mr FG, Mr SG and Mr LG have 6 things in common: They are selfish, they are ignorant to the needs of the people, they have pot-bellies, they are headstrong and corrupt and lastly, they don't give a damn about us.
It's about time we stopped giving a damn about them too.
PS: Welcome to the Computer Crash Club. First me, then Chari, then you! Honestly I think Yardie's boys sent you a virus that did the trick. You can blame it on them just like Rayo said...

laspapi said...

Mr FG isn't doing anything his predecessors didn't do. I kinda switched off from his shenanigans a long time back.

Aphrodite said...

Great piece.
This needs to get out somewhere.
nice blog too.

NoLimit said...

Honestly this post should be published! Very apt...Mr FG pls stop vexing woomie o! ahn ahn what sef?
first time on your blog and loving it!!!